


Lost

by Dopple_Girl



Series: Deceit’s Aftermath [2]
Category: Sander Sides (YouTube RPF), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Hurt/comfort fic, I’m sorry, Mentions of Deceit - Freeform, Post-Video: Can LYING Be Good??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 06:48:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dopple_Girl/pseuds/Dopple_Girl
Summary: How certain is one truly of who they are?Are they certain of their place in the world?How long before that belief is challenged, and that person finds themselves drifting?Until they don’t know who they are anymore?How does one react to feeling of uselessness?





	Lost

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I’m so glad the first part of this series received so much love and support. Like? It’s my first fic in this fandom and I’m just blown away by it. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go check it out. It’s Virgil’s reaction to it all. 
> 
> And yes, I said series. I’m going to eventually do Logan and Roman’s reactions as well. Still debating if I should throw Deceit into the mix as well, but who knows. We’ll have to wait and see. 
> 
> Last thing quick, the first part of this installment is inspired partly by All Time Low’s song Life of the Party. Not the whole song, but just one line in the chorus that when you hear you’ll be like, yep that where she got this part. 
> 
> Sorry if I’m rambling. Enjoy!

_“Patton!”_

_Patton was wondering among faceless strangers. He was surrounded on all sides by things that resembled humans but were monotonously grey without face. He walked in the opposite direction than this sea, screaming his own name so loud that he was scared his voice would go hoarse. Panic overwhelmed him and he searched the blank faces._

_He pulled the shoulder of another person. Another face, another blank. He was swimming in this sea of strangers and he couldn’t find himself. You think that be the easiest person of all to find, but it was the hardest. With all these questions swarming his head, it was no easy task._

_Patton was lost. Not physically, but metaphorically. He felt useless, discarded, without a purpose. Deceit has taken everything he had thought he stood for and put it up for question. Would the other sides notice if he was missing? If they did, would they even care? Did any of them worry that Patton wasn’t acting like himself? Was he Morality, and if he wasn’t than who was he?_

_“Thinking of me?” Patton turned to stare down the face of Deceit. Scales and snake eye on the left staring him down as he bolted, trying to loose the nightmare that had caused this mess. Blindly taking turns, tears began to well up in his eyes. But he kept them to himself. No point in ruining this perfectly good mask._

_“Where are you running? You’ll get far that way.” Deceit resurfaced on another body, dressed like Roman. Patton tried turning around only to run into the snake again, only this time in Logan’s clothes. “Don’t listen to me.” Morality saw Deceit on his left and his right as well, one looking like Virgil and the other having similar style to Thomas._

_“He’s Deceit, He’s not my family. He’s Deceit, he’s not me.” Patton muttered, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head toward the floor. Deceit has other things in mind though, for Patton soon found his head being picked up from his chin and eyes forced open._

_“Well, I’m Morality. I’ve got to know my stuff.” Patton watched slowly as strings formed around his wrists and ankles. They cut into his skin, taking away any sort of movement he held prior. His body now dangled above an open abyss, the only thing keeping him from falling was the master above him. And Patton didn’t need to look up to see it was Deceit in control of his strings. That there was a grin on his face like a scheming child ready for the plans they have in store for their new toy. His new puppet, ready to dance at his wish and whim_

_“Don’t worry, I’ll help you.” Deceit assured, before letting go of the strings. Patton still couldn’t move, just watch as his limp and helpless body fell closer and closer to a floor he couldn’t see. He closed his eyes, embracing the situation he was in as the wind rushed past him ..._

... And he woke up.

Patton’s breathing was heavy. His armpits reeked of sweat similar to the beads that dripped from his forehead. His was in a tangle of sheets, and somewhere along the way he had abandoned his pants. But that was nothing new, as he had sometimes done that when it got too hot at times. But he was unnerved now, most likely unable to get to sleep on his own.

He glanced at his phone, which brightly shown back the time at more of a daytime brightness. 1:11 AM. Patton sighed, he still had a good few hours before everyone else would be up as well. He slipped on a pair of fuzzy socks, trudging out toward the kitchen section of his room. There some slime rested in a plastic Tupperware container alongside some stress balls.

Patton picked up a blue stress ball, a light blue one that had a design of black nerdy glasses like his and a mustache. He squeezed it, hard, so much so that his knuckles turned white and fingertips were starting to become red. His other hand sunk into the slime, letting it flow over each knuckle. But it didn’t reach the crescent slowly engraving itself in his palm from the pressure from pushing into it.

He was on edge, almost on his breaking point. The mask was off, he had nobody to flaunt his fake happiness to. Nowhere left to hide away his feeling as they came in out in full force. The slime and stress ball were doing nothing, he needed more. Something that would help control all he had left to build up in him.

The stress balls and slime disappeared from the table with a single thought, his now free hands dropping to the table. Patton closed his eyes, not caring at this point which other side he ended up with. Inhale, exhale. Focus.

“Patton?” Morality opened his eyes to see he had managed to land in Logic’s room. The aforementioned side was sitting up in his bed, a book laying face open in his lap. Lights were off save for one lamp next to Logan’s head so he could see the words on the page. “Why are you awake?”

“Nightmare.” He replied. He really didn’t want to get into details at this hour, and Logan seemed to understand that. He simply nodded at the statement. “What about you?”

“I currently lack the ability to engage in the Theta Band Activity and Delta Waves characteristic of the first stages of sleep.” Patton blinked, and Logan knew he had to rephrase his words. “Simple words, Logan. Simple words.” He muttered before saying louder, “Insomnia.” It was Patton’s turn to nod.

“Can I cuddle with you?” Patton asked, holding his arms out like he was a needy child. Logan gestured toward him after a little hesitation. Patton came in quickly, attaching quickly around Logan. “Thank you. I know this ... isn’t exactly your area of expertise.”

“It’s fine. Just ...” He pushed Patton away, just so he was able to look the other in the eyes. “ ... I don’t want you to change. I don’t want what Deceit did to change the Patton we know and love. Promise me that much, Okay?”

Patton nodded as tears threatened to overwhelm him. The two sides laid down on Logan’s bed still facing each other. Patton once more found his way into the crook of Logan’s neck, and his legs curled themselves around Logic’s. Logan wrapped an arm underneath Patton’s body and wrapped around what it could of his shoulders for support. He placed a quick kiss on the top of Morality’s head, before the two fell asleep like that.

But when Patton awoke the next morning, there was an empty bed beside him. He frowned, the worst popping into his usually optimistic mind. Maybe the other was simply pretended to care, just for a moment. Maybe he wasn’t truly Logan that he had wrapped himself so easily around last night. But the smell of waffles begged to differ, and ultimately was what encouraged him to get up out of bed and investigate.

Everyone was there in the kitchen. Logan was slaved away at the stove, managing what seemed like twelve different things. Roman was playing with the napkins, trying to make them into elegant shapes as he set the table. Virgil sat up on the counter, passing whatever the other two sides ordered over to them. He was the one that noticed the missing side first from where he stood in the doorway.

“You’re up.” He said simply, making the others turn their heads as well. Logan smiled, turning the stove off as he placed what was left on the table.

“Just in time, as well. Food’s ready.”

“Oh thank heavens.” Roman exclaimed in dramatic fashion. “I don’t know how much longer my stomach could handle the sweet aroma without tasting it.”

“Alright, calm down Mr. Melodramatic.” Virgil quipped, which caused a bendy straw wrapper to be shot his way.

“What is all this?” Patton asked as he took his usual seat at the table between Roman and Logan.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Logan answered. “We made you breakfast.”

“Correction: Logan made breakfast.” Anxiety corrected. “Roman and I tried to help and almost set the place ablaze in trying to make sausage.”

“The instructions were right on the box. It still plagues me how the two of you managed to screw it up so bad.” Logan commented.

“Well, it certainly wasn’t my fault!” Roman defended. Virgil looked like he was about to say something, but opted for an eye roll instead.

“On the other hand, we have a few homemade hockey pucks we can use the next time we decide to go to the Rink.” Virgil glanced at Roman before continuing his thought. “Or projectiles, depending on how I decide to use them.”

Roman didn’t even spare Virgil a glance as he whipped out his sword toward him. “Don’t think I won’t fight you.”

“Roman, no swords at the table.” Patton reprimanded. Roman put the weapon away, a pout on his face as he finally began eating his food. Virgil soon followed suit but not before throwing a well meaning smirk in Morality’s direction. “But seriously, you didn’t have all this for me.”

“You were ... struggling.” Logan began. “I saw that last night. Deceit has you unhinged more that any of us. I can’t imagine how you feel, or how strong you must be to be this rock for the rest of us. I just ... wanted to show you that you don’t need to be there for us all the time. We can be there for you.” Patton looked like he was ready to cry over his food, the gesture to him just seeming ... unreal. They really did care about him.

“Thank you, kiddo.” He replied, patting Logan on the back of his neck. Logic returned the gesture.

“It was my pleasure ... Dad.”


End file.
